I have an iPod. I know. That’s a little old fashioned these days. But I like to be able to listen to music or a guided meditation without being connected to the internet. I keep my iPod under my pillow so if I am having trouble sleeping even after grieving, I can listen. I don’t need it very often but sometimes it helps.
A few nights ago I went looking for it and couldn’t find it under my pillow. The next day I lifted up my pillow to really have a good look and it wasn’t there. I figured it fell on the floor but wasn’t up to looking under the bed at the time. Later I checked to make sure it wasn’t charging, just to make sure. Sure enough it wasn’t there either. Later that night or the next night, I had a night of heavy grief, a lot of crying. I reached out to Shawheen, asking for a physical sign in this world.
The next night, reaching under my pillow for my sleep mask, which I wear every night, I bumped into the iPod!!! I never had looked under the bed. I have no idea if it was there. I do know that I had looked really carefully under my pillow and it hadn’t been there. Then this night the iPod had reappeared…
I thanked Shawheen for giving it back and I got the silly image of him in his knickers and cap garb, tipping his hat-“you’re welcome!”.
Tonight the grief is heavy again. Tears keep surfacing even when I think I am done. I miss him terribly. His image is so clear in my mind and in my heart. I am remembering his death with great sadness and wishing I had a picture of him that first day when I viewed his body. I am going to ask the medical examiner and hope I can get it. If so, I will have another story for you. The very first miracle he sent me.
Blessings to all of you who read my posts and special blessings to those of you who are also grieving.
