Vulnerable feelings: When can we lift the taboo?
What does our culture say about the acceptability of tears in public? What about anger as in aggressive voice tone, loudness, or yelling? It is my impression that anger is more acceptable than sadness.
Have you ever seen someone crying, then immediately commit a violent act? I haven’t either. But, what about someone with aggressive voice tone or yelling, who then commits a violent act? That happens, huh?
So, this is my concern about our culture. We tolerate anger, then we’re shocked when multiple people are killed or injured in school shootings. If only they could cry, maybe they wouldn’t shoot!
Friday, on my way to work, I stopped at a stop sign, and noticed a person laying on the side walk on the frosty ground. ‘Weird!’ I thought to myself. I opened the window, “Are you hurt?” I asked.
“No, just adjusting and cold.” She said, sitting up.
I started to drive off, and she put her head in her hands and began to cry. I immediately reversed, pulled over, and got out of the car. I went to her, touched her back and asked, “What’s wrong?”
“My boyfriend and I had a really bad fight. He stopped the car. I got out and he drove away. I have asked ten or eleven people to use their phones and no one would let me!” Wow! What is our world coming to?
“Would you like to use mine?” I asked, “Or would you like a ride somewhere?” I was lucky it was a Friday on Christmas vacation for my kids, because I didn’t have to rush to get to work on time. Fridays are more flexible for me.
Her tears stopped and she smiled, finally. “I’d love a ride. Are you sure? I’m so cold.” I realized that she only had a thin fleece jacket on. It had been twenty -eight degrees Fahrenheit when I had looked at the thermometer before I left the house.
“I’m sure.” She got up as I led her to meet my dog in the back seat. I then got her settled in front and showed her how to turn on the in-seat heaters.
We did our morning ritual, me and my kids, of listing things we are grateful for. “That’s beautiful!” She said.
I realized as I dropped her off that I had known she would be safe to pick up, even though my kids were in the car, because she had been crying…
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