Grief and Spirituality: the intersection

There is an interesting interface between grief and spirituality, perhaps a way for the spirit world to help us through the heart-shattering experience of loss.  How many of you have experienced the death of a loved one?  Of those of you who have, how many have experienced unusual experiences after your loved one died?  What experience did you have and what were your thoughts about how to explain the unusual occurrence?  I would love to have you, readers, share your experiences on this site.  Just click on “comments”, at the top of the page and share your own experiences with us about the spirit world!!

People often say they have an amazing experience after a loved one dies.  Fellow grievers, in a grief group I was in, told me they felt their spouse sit on the bed after the spouse had died.  Janis Heaphy Durham, in her book,

The Hand on the Mirror: A True Story of Life Beyond Death

shares discovering a hand print on her bathroom mirror a year after her husband’s death, along with numerous other miraculous experiences.  They say that around death the “veil”, between the physical realm and the spiritual realm, gets thinner, making it easier for you and I to experience miracles.

            Since my own son died three years ago, I have had a plethora of unusual experiences, that I have no other explanation for other than the spirits created these for me.  I no longer believe in coincidences.  Whenever I try to excuse these unusual experiences as coincidence, they occur less frequently, or stop altogether!  When I believe they are spirit related, they resume or increase…  The frequency with which I find coins, dollar bills, heart shaped rocks, and other appealing things defy the laws of chance, from my perspective.

            Grief isn’t always equally difficult, and perhaps the waves of grief become less intense with time, but they continue, sometimes indefinitely.  Three years ago, my son died to suicide, then my dad died in January and my mother in July.  My parents were due, old enough to have had a good life but it’s still a lot of loss in a short period of time.  The ‘miracles’ continue, if less frequently.

            This last week I had an intense grieving episode and I waited after that for a sign from my son (died 8/15).  I found a penny and that was nice but I desired more.  Grief has a way of blooming a yearning feeling.  I asked my mother to send me a sign (died 7/18) as she hadn’t sent a sign yet.  Then I remembered an incredible dream I had with my dad in it.  There is an older blog about this incredible dream.  I reached out to my dad (died 1/18).  “Dad, send me a hug like the one in the dream!”.  I had been feeling pain in my chest, like anxiety, only I knew it was grief.  Right after this request, I felt a peaceful feeling wash over me from my head to my feet and the pain was gone.  “Thanks dad!”  I thought and saw an image of my father with a broad smile.  The image that came was of him perhaps 30 plus years ago.             

            I was on a walk at the time, near my office on East 14th.  As I arrived at High street, I saw a turkey and then three more.  It struck me that I have never seen turkeys north of 18th before and perhaps this was a sign from my mother, a subtle one, but clearly serendipitous.  Had I ever seen a turkey downtown before this?  No.  So, I accepted that it was unusual and therefore a sign from the spirit world.

            We can think about this from two perspectives.  One option, if one doesn’t believe in a spiritual world, is to consider what your higher self wants you to pay attention to when you have a serendipitous experience, ie, maybe there’s a reason.  From a non-spiritual, perspective the idea is that your higher self is trying to get your attention.  Perhaps your higher self wants you to pay attention to what you were just thinking about or wants to validate that you’re on the right track in life.  The other option, if you are spiritual, is that your guides, or spirits of your loved ones/ancestors, are the instigator of these ideas.

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