Grief doesn’t wait for an invitation… Grief doesn’t ask when you have time or when it might be convenient to experience the sadness or the anger of grief. It comes up even when you aren’t thinking about your loved one who has passed on. It demands your attention! It insists. If you try to ignore it, it will track you down, shove you down, and pummel you to death it seems.
You may feel irritable. You may feel like you are dragging, so tired yet unable to sleep. You may ache inside, in your chest or in some random place in your body. Or you may ache in places relevant to the loved one who has passed on. Mothers may ache in the uterus, in their hearts, hands, elbows, shoulders, all the real and metaphorical parts we use to care for our children.
The only thing that helps grief is to allow it to come, to welcome it, to hold it close, to allow it to seep out, weep out, scream out, to escape some way, to disipate the pressure that builds up in the body. You may cry, write, dance, sing, run, walk, or meditate to allow the grief a way to process.
Only afterward do you find relief. I know it sneaks up on me, frequently, usually at night now, almost two years after my son passed on. I miss him and my body demands that I cry. Only crying lets the physical pain dissipate, allowing sleep to come on.
Sometimes I will dig into memories, pictures, to help the grief express itself, to help the pain diminish again for another day.
I share this to help those of you who are experiencing grief or know someone who is grieving. I hope this blog will help you feel less alone in a culture that demands we put on our game face in public, that we don’t cry.
Blessings