I work with people in crisis. I try to help people with severe moods, psychotic symptoms which include delusions and paranoia, and severe anxiety. Usually I can help people who are willing to work. Sometimes I work with people who work hard, yet need more help than I can give. This is a rare situation. Sometimes they are in recovery from addiction, are homeless, and terrified of their paranoid delusions. I hear reasonable fear, suicidal planning, and hopelessness.
My experience seems to be teaching me that crisis workers in the ER can’t or won’t hospitalize a seriously suicidal person with a history of addiction. Do they believe it’s useless? Do they lack compassion? Does our local hospital have a policy against helping addicts? I don’t know the answers to these questions. I simply observe and help where I can.
My son went through this 6-7 years ago. Prior to addictions treatment, I took him to the ER 4 times in one week for suicidal ideation and at one point a suicide attempt. They did not hospitalize him. At one point, I called emergency because he had cut himself so badly. There was a huge puddle of blood. When the ambulance arrived, they said he clearly wasn’t really suicidal because he had tied his own tourniquet! Years later, after he had been through addictions treatment and had been in recovery for several years, he actually got admitted after a suicide attempt. He was on suicide watch, was discharged, and committed suicide or accidently overdosed the next day.
Now I am working with someone in a similar boat. I don’t want the mother to suffer from the death of a child. I wouldn’t want anyone to suffer from such intense hopelessness that they would rather die than get through another day. The biggest difference is the current person is homeless and has a criminal history. Sick people make poor choices. Manic sick people make incredibly poor choices, choices that land them in jail.
Our culture teaches men that it’s okay to be angry, but not okay to cry!! Crying is much less dangerous! Have you ever known someone who was crying and robbing a bank, manufacturing money, or attacking someone? Me neither. They do those things angry. It hurts to watch while people commit suicide because they can’t get the help they need.
I have a vision!! I see a future where people are allowed to cry, where emotions are valued, and where the culture funds support for a place to help people while we transition.
This place would be a shelter of safety, a calm, caring environment. People could stop in for a few hours or a night. They could also stay. This shelter, for those who stay longer, would be a teaching environment. When people had learned to manage their emotions well enough to be outside, they would learn to garden, do hand work, and other therapeutic sustainable activities. This shelter would promote community and an ability to do things independently. That is key for all of us, isn’t it? A balance between community interdependence and independence… Let us envision this for all people!!!