Ascension/discernment

To discern spiritual messages is about recognizing them, not second guessing them, not calling them something else.  It is about knowing and believing.  It is having faith in something and in yourself as you recognize your connection to it.

Grief has been harder lately.  For me summer used to be the best time of year, or spring and summer.  Almost two years ago my son died during the tail end of the summer months.  The summer before he died, I began to feel a light depression I hadn’t felt in decades.  I didn’t even realize it until the fall or winter.  Looking back, I know I was feeling his pain.  We had been very close for most of his life so it’s not surprising that I would be tuned into his mood.  So, now I feel more grief in the summer. I talk to him when I am struggling (and when I am not struggling), and I always ask him to send me miracles.  I often ask for more because what I really want, he can’t give me. That would be him in physical form again.

So, a few days ago my second oldest son came over to play a roleplaying game with me and his two youngest siblings. We are currently playing one called “Dead lands”. Yeah, we’re geeks I guess! Anyway, before he left I went out to the garden to pick him some vegetables.  I brought him a cucumber and carrot.  He ate the carrot and when he left, I realized he had forgotten the cucumber!!  It sat on the coffee table in the plastic bag I had put it in for transport.  We cleaned up the game, I left my youngest son to finish off the mess.  I realized that I needed to put the cucumber in the fridge and went back to get it and it was gone!  I asked my son what he had done with it.  “I didn’t touch it!” He insisted.  I realized immediately that he would not be bothered with a cucumber unless I was forcing him to cut it for dinner so of course he had not moved it.  My daughter also would not bother with the cucumber unless I insisted.  I figured it had fallen off the table and rolled under something but I checked under the chairs and couch. No cucumber.  At the time, it was bizarre.  The cucumber had disappeared.  I remember thinking to my son, “Shaw-heen if you took the cucumber, give it back while it is still fresh!”

I got some kind of sense of “okay…”

By the end of the week, 2-3 days later, I open the refrigerator and found the cucumber, still in the bag, sitting on a shelf.  I think to my son, “Thanks for putting it back!”  I get this image of him pointing at me and laughing!!!  It appears as a “Ha! I gotcha!!”  Later I told my youngest son and he said, “Oh yeah, I put it there.  I found it on a shelf in my room!”  I ask him to show me where and he points out a spot on the back of a shelf meant for books and items that go with the role-playing game.  He later explains that he knew it was Shaw-heen because a.) it disappeared for 2-3 days, and b.) it reappeared on top of something he had just used the day before and there hadn’t been a cucumber on it at the time.  Not to mention that nobody in our house would pick up a cucumber from the living room table and stick it on a shelf in a kid’s bedroom.  Only Shaw-heen would do that!  He wants us to laugh.

Ascension truly is about recognizing these things that we struggle to explain any other way, accepting that they are created by spirit, and having faith in it/finding joy in it…

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