I’ve had a repeat performance from my silly son, a repeat of the disappearing iPod. He’s been dead for two years now and thankfully, he doesn’t leave me alone. If you read the last post on this topic, you’ll remember that the iPod is only used under my pillow for meditation and from there it occasionally is removed to go charge on my desk.
A week or so ago, it disappeared from under my pillow. It reappeared a few days later in the couch! I never use it on the couch and the kids are not interested in it because it is old and doesn’t get internet very well. My son and his pranks! After it reappeared, while grieving, I asked him to give me a miracle, but make it unique! No more repeats! A couple days has passed since then and earlier today someone pointed out, “he doesn’t make these miracles so you can write about them on your blog!”
‘Alright,’ I thought, ‘maybe that is true’. I thought more about what he said to me that night, grieving, while I picture his adorable face in my mind.
He says to me in my mind, “That’s not me, Mom! That was only me for a temporary period on earth. The real me is here and you haven’t lost me. You have only lost that temporary part of me, the body I lived in while I was there.” He goes on to point out that we have a very good relationship now. It wasn’t new to me, this idea, but it was special to sense him saying it to me.
Tonight, I sit down, planning to write the above. I turn on my computer and open this document. Before I begin to write, I hear a quiet voice coming from my computer. It’s very quiet, yet confusing, since I have not turned anything audible on.
I turn up the volume and I recognize the voice as Jodi Whitley, a woman who one can find on youtube. She does guided meditations. I listen a while and realize that this is a meditation I have not heard before. I try to figure out where it is coming from. I can’t figure it out. My twelve-year-old takes the computer from me. He pulls up all the open files. He closes iTunes and the voice continues. He closes two internet browsers. The voice continues. He proceeds to close everything except ‘finder’ and yet the voice continues! I say, “Thanks for the meditation, Shawheen!” I get this image of him dancing around in circles.
My son says, “Yeah, Shawheen really knows how to mess with us!”
I begin to listen and meditate. My son searches. He reopens iTunes and finds the downloaded file in history. When he pushes play, there are two of the same voice, one further along, one at the beginning. When we push ‘stop’, one voice stops and the other continues. We can’t find any way to get the voice to stop! I say, “he obviously wants me to meditate!”
My son says, like a rude pre-teen, “then go meditate in your room so I don’t have to listen to it!!!” And so I do.