Grief is complicated, challenging to recognize in all it’s unusual manifestations, difficult to express in a culture unwilling to see it, and unpleasant to work through alone.
My son died about three years ago and both my parents passed this year, my mother just a month ago. I find myself tired in the evenings and I’m not usually a tired person. I tend towards energy normally, so this is noticeably different for me. I realized today that my mother was always around in the evening, helping with dinner and cleaning up the kitchen. She’s not here now so cooking and clean up involve more alone time, or more pushing preadolescents into doing something they don’t want to do, which is rarely a pleasure.
Over the last month I have found coins or money 13 days out of 30. If I add feathers to the list of finds, that number grows. This, I believe, is too much to be coincidence. These “pennies from heaven” have been so commonplace in my life since my son died three years ago that it’s no surprise anymore and I believe it has gone beyond serendipitous.
At one point after my son died, while suffering with my grief, I began convincing myself that everyone finds coins, even strings of three in a row, that this experience was nothing unusual, and I should quit attributing it to spirit. After that I went through two to three months without finding any coins. At some point, I recognized this dearth of coin-finds as the stark change that it was, recognized they were, indeed spirit gifts, and lo-and-behold, those coins began reappearing.
It has become a clear sign that the spirit world is with me, my guides are with me, my son is with me and now my parents are too. I have found so many coins in the last three years that I have a basket and a dish for them and most of my coat pockets have them too. When I go for walks, I feel them in my pockets, and I know even on the days I don’t find coins, that I will find them on another day. When I have evenings of harsh grief, I often have a walk the next day that uncovers coins.
I began tracking it on paper for the research aspect and discovered how frequent it really is. Coins are everywhere, are a joy to find, and a clear message now that the spirit world is available, accessible, and attainable!