It’s been four years since my son died and although the grief is still there and always will be, the frequency and intensity has diminished somewhat with time. As my grief diminishes, so do the miracles which got me through those deeply grievous years.
A week ago, when I was grieving a lot, I told him I thought it really sucked that I should lose him all over again, with the reduction in miracles. I asked him to offer me a miracle again. It seemed to me that he had shown himself in my life with the miracles, so as they stopped, it felt like I was losing him all over again.
In my profession as a psychotherapist, I facilitate a group teaching people skills to manage depression, anxiety, and bipolar moods effectively. I hadn’t remembered to bring a snack to group in a long time. That Monday, I remembered, packing 9 persimmons and dried fruit for the 9 expected members.
When I arrived to work that morning, it was 35 degrees and there was a gentleman without shelter sitting on the sidewalk with his belongings. I felt concerned about him out there in the cold. I walked up to him, inviting him inside to our waiting room to warm up. He politely declined, saying he was waiting for his girlfriend to change his bandages. He’d built a fire the night before to keep warm and somehow had burned himself. He’d just been discharged from the hospital to manage his dressings alone. I then offered him a couple persimmons which he gladly accepted.
I didn’t think about it again until afternoon when I was setting up for group and low and behold, I still had 9 persimmons!!! I saw this silly image in my mind of my son, laughing with me. The jokester gave me two more persimmons! He liked that I had shared them with the gentleman without permanent shelter. The spirit world likes it when we help other people without harming ourselves in the process